Do you exude your Sexiness? Or is it still asleep?
Whilst many Men do have a biological weakness to rescue Women who’re vulnerable and are in some way ‘broken’ or ‘bruised’, for the most part, they’re drawn to Women who are:
1. Confident and Positive – A Woman who owns her space and is not easily intimated by her surroundings always gets a thumbs up from any Man or Vampire. You can reverberate confidence just by being calm, relaxed, comfortable, positive and friendly with a bright shimmering smile on your face. But be mindful not to smile in excess, as it may cause many Men in your vicinity to lose consciousness or lapse into a“dream state” coma.
2. Smile like they tried eating a banana sideways –
Men are pretty much like Black and white cellphones. So for the most part, they see the World in ‘Black and White’, as opposed to Women who see most things in ‘Bright and vivid colors’ or in a hundred shades of Gray. That means most Men are unable to process or even comprehend emotions that don’t in some way resonate with their biological role to provide, protect and procreate. And even then, they’re hardwired to filter out emotions below a certain intensity.
This should give you some idea as to why most Guys tend to skim over the roses, the chocolates, the candles, the conversations and the romance and goes straight for the “desert”. And why a Man rarely stops to have a conversation with the Big bad wolf that showed up at your doorstep, before giving him a glimpse of his afterlife.
So, as Men rarely have any issues translating “intense emotions” either good or bad, they instantly perceive a big broad smile as her being “happy and cheerful” and a gloomy, lightning struck face as being “not too happy”. And if she’s happy, he’ll feel like he’s pretty much accomplished what he was sent down to Earth for, which is: to keep the Lady in his life, HAPPY!
3. Virtuous – If there was one magic pill that would make any “Real Man” loyal and faithful for the rest of his life, it would be “virtues”.
So, if you throw out that old pack of tricks and slap a Man silly till he’s red on the face with “virtues”, you’ll have him spinning around you like a ballerina, wherever you go. Virtues also help you filter out the Boys from the Men. If he’s not impressed by virtues, then check to see if he’s got a pacifier in his coat pocket or if he’s wearing diapers.
As Dr. Patricia Allen so brilliantly puts it “Boys like Vag!n$s. Men like Virtues”
4.Easy and fun to talk to – As Men process intense emotions at a very deep level, it’s best to avoid talking about all the serious and mustache curling stuff, unless you ultimately want him to “fix” something. He loves to fix and save people to the point it annoys the heck out of them. This just makes him feel cute, cuddly and awesome.
5.Great Listeners – Men know only too well that Women are great listeners. More so, they appreciate the nurturing consolation they receive in the process.
Obviously, they don’t reciprocate that too well,since they interpret a Woman talking about something that she’s unhappy about as her “bleeding out emotionally”. So, if he can’t stop her “emotional bleeding”in some way, he’ll go completely bananas and start talking in a different language.
6.Great Cooks – If you ever knew how many times a Man’s thanked you ‘in his mind’ for EVERY amazing meal you’d ever prepared, you’ll probably be walking around with your jaw wide open in sheer amazement.
But since he’s already told her that ONCE very briefly fifteen years ago, he assumes that she already knows it.
Men don’t verbalize their thoughts because the speech part of the brain called the Broca area is in a constant state of “hibernation”. So instead, they express their gratitude by spending a little extra on those special occasions or with a few extra frisky surprises when the Moon comes out.
Men were wired with this “speech deficiency”, so that they would be able to do their ‘shopping’ in ‘super stealth tiptoe mode’ back in the Cave Ages, without getting their asses tattooed by every carnivore they meet along the way.
7.Loyal – Loyalty for Men is not about just being “faithful”. For him, it’s about how well “she stands by her Man”,even when he’s being a complete idiot. And about choosing him over your friends, family, shoes and the Cat every time. Isn’t that what you would want from HIM as well?
8.Nurturing and affectionate – A woman’s nurturing energy has pretty much the same effect as water does on a raging fire. Men deal with a lot of stuff every day that they CANNOT talk to anyone about. That’s because talking about stuff that doesn’t need a resolution, consultation or affirmation, just makes things worse for him.
So, the only way to put out the raging fire that’s causing him so much pain is to pour some of her nurturing and affectionate goodness straight into his soul.
It kinda reminds me of how Catherine Chandler, neutralizes every “Hulk episode” that Vincent Keller experiences in the CW TV Series,“Beauty and the Beast”.
It works much the same way in real life too,even though some fires just take longer to put out. For instance, if a Man’s lost his job and is using booze to drown out his sorrows, what he really needs right then is a nurturing soul, who tells him day in and day out that “everything’s gonna be alright” and that you have “complete faith in him no matter what” and to lovingly and gradually help him come off the habit.
Women like that are DANGEROUS, because of how much power they have in their hands. So, if you’ve ever wondered what a certain ‘Prince Charming’ sees in a Woman who doesn’t seem to have much going for her, just ask yourself these 3 questions: How motherly and caring of a soul is she? And how much does she smile when she’s around him? And when they’re in the “Bakery”, does she do the one thing that 80% of Women hate to do, but 100% of the Guys “secretly” crave for? (I’ll leave it to Chris Rock to tell you what that is)
FYI: Much like with “Beauty and the Beast”, you can get a ton of inside information on what makes Guys tick, just by watching a few Superhero style TV Shows and Movies. Isn’t it any wonder why guys from 5 to 105 are nuts about some kind of superhero comic? So, what happens after 105? They switch to Operas and Knitting 🙂
9.Spontaneous and Playful – Nothing flairs up a Man’s provide, protect and procreate genes than a Woman whose playful, spontaneous and loves being around him.
Sure. The way he acknowledges you would probably be no different to how Frankenstein greets Igor. But, if you put a stethoscope on his forehead and listen to his thoughts, you’ll know just how much he appreciates this.
10.Takes good care of herself – A Man feels important and appreciated when you go out of your way to look your best and do stuff “just” for him.
11.Emotionally Strong and Resilient – Men aren’t great at dealing with drama and mood swings.
He normally sees things as either black or white. So, when he tries to process all the different shades of gray, his cheeks and ears start to swell up real fast.
12. Has a moral compass – Women were coined the term “Angels”, primarily for their Virtues and not their looks.
Back in the Golden days, Women rarely did drugs, smoked or drank till they couldn’t tell their left buttocks from their right ones. And they probably didn’t go all Buffy on their Hubbies, robbed Banks, killed innocent looking Kittens or did anything even remotely “shocking”. In fact, Men looked UP TO Women to keep them grounded and to steer THEM in the right direction when their moral compasses came down with sore throats.
13. Goes easy with her makeup – You’ll rarely see a Man trying to impress a Woman using makeup even if he’s knocked his head really hard somewhere.
That’s because makeup really doesn’t have the effect on Men that Women think it does. In fact, if you ask any “honest Man” whether a Woman looks better in her Nighties or Pajamas without makeup or in a more extravagant Ballroom dress with Makeup, you’ll have your answer. But, take to heart that Men lie because they value their lives. So, if he gets even a whiff of you preferring the ballroom dress over the nightie, that’s exactly what he’ll say too.
14. Shows off a little cleavage and legs and wears high heels – A tight outfit that’s sexy but decent works wonders on Men. But don’t overdo it, as it would attract the wrong “audience”.
15. Genuine, honest and open ALL the time – Men are pretty much like open books. They’re just “out there” all the time. In fact, their ‘excessive’ openness and honesty, is one of the main reasons why many Men ruin their first dates. They lack the relationship finesse that Women have.
But, it goes to show how much of a big deal it is for them. In fact, a Man simply cannot fall in love with someone, who’s not completely let her walls down and has become an accessible and open book herself.
16.Wears their heart on their sleeves – Another essential ingredient that makes him wanna get down on one knee, is knowing exactly how much SHE loves him.
But it shouldn’t be just words, as Men are visual creatures and score Women based on what they see more than what they hear. Yes, I am back to the Magic Pill I mentioned earlier, called “Virtues”.
17.Trusting – If you find yourself feeling insecure or notice doubt and distrust creeping in, remember that a Man cannot maintain romantic feelings toward someone, who doesn’t trust him unconditionally. Besides, people have a strange way of living up to whatever label that’s put on them, either good or bad.
18.NEVER deprives him of his freedom – Remember that iconic scene from the Movie Braveheart, where William Wallace (played by Mel Gibson) says “They can take our Lattes, but they’ll never take our Freedom”?
Freedom is a ginormous deal for Men. So, whenever they feel that they have to answer to someone or have to live by someone else’s rules, they soon start suffering from a condition called the “Bobblehead syndrome”.
19. Compliment the skittles off him – Men receive about as many compliments in their lifetimes as the number of tattoos Penguins get in theirs. In other words, not that many.
Surprisingly, that’s true of even the most distinguished of Men. Everyone makes the assumption that he very likely gets showered with compliments every day, and talk themselves out of it.
The reason for why Men are so “complement deprived” is mainly because the word itself doesn’t exist in a typical Man’s vocabulary, both in the giving and receiving departments.
So, if you pay any Man a compliment, whoever he may be, however strong or tough he may seem, he’ll instantly feel like you just choked him with the best “emotional vibe” he’s felt in years. In fact, he’ll very likely remember that moment for the rest of his days.
But don’t compliment him just on his looks. Compliment him on his strengths, his skillfulness, and his virtues.If you want an unfair advantage that 99.12345% of Women overlook, then this would be it.
20.Caring souls by nature – Just like Women, Men love to feel loved and cared for “unconditionally”. And when that becomes the norm, you become the safe haven he flies to every single time.
21.‘Partially’ dependent and needy – Given that Women are biologically attracted to Men who eat and poop Gold, Men are overly cautious about their genuine agendas. So for that reason alone, they want Women to be self-reliant enough to provide for themselves. And, once he knows that she’s the real deal and not a wallet radar, THEN nothing would make him happier than to give her the life she truly deserves. In fact, a “Real Man” would feel crippled if he’s unable to carry the weight of his family by himself.
22. Who is a cheerleader – Ever wondered why Cheerleaders don’t use negative reinforcement on their teammates, even when the tables are stacked heavily in the opponent’s favor? Well, that’s because it never works. But, it might be an awesome way to double the opponent’s scorecard, though.
Every Man has a 5-10 year plan in the back of his mind. Some Men don’t even know that it’s there. So, he wants someone by his side, who believes in him, encourages him, bakes him fresh cookies and cheers him on, all the way to victory line.
When a Man has the warm embrace of a Women who cares for him truly, madly and deeply, no matter the weather, he becomes a real force of nature. And, he’ll pay you back tenfold when he’s ultimately reached the summit.
23.Tells him how proud she is of him – All Men have a little Child inside them, that yearn for the approval and admiration that they hadn’t received from anyone before. So every time he hears a word of appreciation, approval or admiration, it fuels his drive and ambition, as well as his love and respect for you.
Think of this as the equivalent of a Man telling you how beautiful and amazing you are.
24.Makes him feel like a Man – What does your Cellphone, TV, and Stereo have in common, aside from being very vocal? Yup. You guessed it. They all need “power”. Give em some power and they’ll even do your laundry for you. Or maybe not.
I often refer to Men as “Black and White Cellphones”. Cellphones, just like any other “appliance” needs power.
Now, I’m talking about buying your Man (or Man to be) a Darth Vader outfit and a lightsaber from the nearest Costume Shop and then hiding under a table, in case things get a little crazy.
Instead, I am talking about, putting him on the Director’s chair with a cute little cap and making him feel like he’s running the show, even though you’re ultimately the Producer and he’s just doing it ALL for you anyway.
Depriving a Man of his inherent ability to Provide, Protect, and Procreate is no different a Woman being deprived of her right to care for her own Babies. When a Man “genuinely” falls in life, he really doesn’t mind sacrificing his well-being, his life or even his baseball card collection for the safety and well-being of his Lady and Children. In fact, he’ll even get a kick out of doing that.
25.Are accepting and appreciative – So, you bought yourself a “Talking Horse” from the Circus that showed up in town a few months ago. At first, you were over the Moon and loved listening to his horsey‘tales’ and especially about the time he went hoof and saddle shopping with his Buddies awhile back. And given the magnificence of this strange creature, you didn’t mind clearing out his muck every morning or even brushing down his thick coat.
But as the months progressed, you realized that the Horse didn’t really have anything new to say and for the most part he was just rehashing the same old stories. Around the same time, you noticed that his muck had also gotten a little smellier than usual, due to some of the ‘human food’ he’s been trying out. If that wasn’t bad enough, he just confessed that he’s never been to the Dentist in his whole life. And that’s when you decided to put your “fixing cap”on and get to work.
For the most part, everything seemed to be going according to plan. But, what you didn’t realize is that the spark and the chemistry between the two of you had suddenly fizzled out and the relationship had suddenly become a “Mother/Pony” relationship. Yikes!
26.Is respectful and never condescending or sarcastic – If you look at the emphasis they have on “respect” in any military organization in the World, it should give you an idea as to what a big deal it is for Men (especially for Men with cute little medals exhibiting their rank and achievements).
In fact, you’ll be lucky if you manage to walk into a military camp, tickle the Colonel’s mustache, then say something sarcastic about it and walk out unscathed.
Many Women use condescending remarks or sarcasm to “cut a Man down to size”. This may work on certain Women, but it has the complete opposite effect on Men.
27.Considerate and thoughtful – As human beings, we all like to be treated ‘nice’. But when we’re not getting what we need from a relationship or feel misunderstood, then our retractable claws start becoming more visible, more often. But, that kind of behavior won’t make any sense to a talking Horse who expresses his love and affection in a whole other way.
Besides, you’re better off with a tame and strange horse than a nutty one that runs wild.
28.Low Maintenance and Down to Earth – Horses love to graze the fields, get dirty, run wild and watch a little TV now and then. So, they’re pretty “low maintenance” and “down to earth” for the most part. But, when you try to get him into a fine looking suit and try getting him to go to the Opera with you, then all his chakras goes all out of whack.
Now, I know that was a ton of information to take in. But, when in doubt, there’s one simple and very Golden rule that works every time. And that is to ask ourselves this one simple question (ideally every day):“Would I wanna be in a relationship with myself?”
That doesn’t do all the magic obviously because we can’t treat Horses the same way we do Koalas. But it’s generally a good place to start.
Now for some not so sexy facts:
1. 90% of all couples who “play Doctor” within the first 2 years, end up breaking up.
2.Wearing “socks” half the time don’t keep our feet clean. It also must be said that many “socks” are prone to tears resulting from poor storage and improper use.
3. The CDC reports that 110 Americans have STDs (as at February 14,2013). And that number is growing at a rate of 20 million new infections every year. So, given that the total child population between 0-17 is 73 million, nearly 1 in 2 Adults have an STD (either active or dormant).
BUT on a positive note, the divorce rates on a “slow decline” all across the globe. Hooray!