Do you see yourself as a warm fuzzy ball of inspiration and joy?
Or are you more of a walking lightning rod?
We all have those absolutely awesome days where we have a hard time restraining ourselves from hugging every squirrel, kitten, puppy and porcupine in our vicinity.
And then have those really crappy WTF days, where everything we say seems to sound like a growl.
Lastly, there’s a whole bunch of days that we don’t even recall waking up on.
But despite all the sunny spells and the sweet sensations, most of us somehow only recall and bask in the moments that’s made us weep, whimper or scream in sheer terror.
So, why do we focus on the tiny zit sitting on the tip of our noses as opposed to taking the time to appreciate everything else that’s relatively blemish free?
Well, the reason for that is because when our Creator came up with the blueprint for us Humans a few…million years ago, his primary goal was to keep our flesh firmly attached to our bone structure for as long as possible. And in order to do that, he hardwired us with something called the “Fight or Flight response”.
It’s a mechanism that’s designed to filter out all the pretty, warm and fuzzy stuff and go straight to identifying all the ugly, nasty and voracious threats that are constantly trying to put our lights out.
It’s also what enabled our prehistoric Kids to have two lines of defenses; one from their Biological Daddies and a second from the Biological Mummies (after the Dad breaks a nail or something).
And it’s a mechanism that’s played a pivotal role in bringing the entire human race to the 21st Century (with their teeth and tattoos intact).
But it is NOT designed to…make us “happy”.
Yep. Our creator was more concerned about preserving the muscles that helps us to smile as opposed to actually “making” us smile. Sure. The Emperor of the Universe will reward us by the bucket load (over time) for being kind, generous, considerate, compassionate, indiscriminate and living with a sense of gratitude. But since at a biological level we’re hardwired to protect ourselves and our loved ones first, we still walk around with a butter knife and a flashlight in our pockets, in case we get jumped by a very tall Penguin or something.
This should also explain why “Mainstream” News Industry risks their lives and makeup to weed out all the good stuff they come cross every day to bring us just the same old “bad news” time and time again. But they’re careful enough to not bring too much bad news from our own backyards, as they don’t wanna traumatize (and potentially lose) their entire viewership in one go.
Becoming civilized (at least at an “infrastructural level”), meant that our minds had to find another way to compensate for the lack of “bloodcurdling suspense” and “bone snapping drama”. And that why it now feasts on shock, worry, anxiety and anything that tickles its’ appetite for adrenaline.
Therefore the minute we see something that we perceive as a threat, our “Fight or Flight mechanism” kicks into overdrive; our retractable claws spring out of their sockets; our whiskers start twirling back and forth, and our cell phones start vibrating like crazy. The only problem is that…there is no legitimate threat because it was just our mind pooping its’ pants over something that it saw on TV. And since it’s too dumb to know the difference (between what’s real and what feels real), our body experiences this whole rollercoaster ride as though it were real.
And whilst that may sound harmless on the surface, each of these “hallucinated episodes” leave behind a furry residue in the form of chemicals that get dispensed in the heat of the moment, but don’t get used. And over time they build into giant hairballs (of unused suspense) that we would have a tough time coughing out.
In essence, it seems like what was designed to keep us safe is now kicking our butts through our own deluded compensatory behavior.
Hasta La Vista Hairballs!
So, when these hairballs do show up and clog up our productivity and our happiness, do you bow down to the might of the hairball?
Or do you grab your trusty Vacuum and go into battle?
And how do you dislodge those hairballs that are already affecting your dance moves?
For starters, you have to stop indulging in self-administered Electric shock therapy.
Yep. Every time you sit down to watch the news, plot to kill your neighbor’s Parrot, get into a heated debate with your 3-year-old over politics or even hit your best friend with a flurry of Yo Mama yokes, you are subjecting yourself to heavy doses of electric shock therapy.
And then you would use the following daily practices to tweak your whiskers to optimum joyfulness.
1. Wake up happy
After you get done with your big wake-up yawn and realize that you’re still on the same planet as the one you went to sleep in, take a few minutes to thank your Creator (especially if you don’t believe in one).
Thank him for the clean air that you breathe, your clean bill of health (even if it’s not perfect), your new ugly tattoo, the spouse that snores like a Horse all night… to whatever else comes to mind. It doesn’t have be anything formal. And you don’t even need a religion for this to work wonders in your life.
Then slice up a few non-citrus fruits, toss in a dab of raw organic honey and neutralize any stomach acid that you may have built up overnight. Don’t make the mistake of putting in anything acidic in your stomach first thing in the morning such as Coffee, Cigarettes or Alcohol as you may find yourself doing a strange moon-crawl/howl combo on the floor afterward.
Once you’re done with the fruits, top that up with 3-7 glasses of water.
And finally, flush out all your worries and anxieties with a solid 30-90-minute workout. Note that the greater the intensity of the workout and the longer it is, the more “stress” you’ll shed and the lesser your cravings will be for human brains. By the way, cardio based workouts tend to be a lot more effective in the stress-relief department than any other form of exercise.
But if the only muscles you recall exercising regularly are your jaws, then you’ll want to start out with an easy, breezy 10-minute walk around the block first and build up your pace and strength gradually over the coming weeks/months. And when you’re body’s all “working as it should”, you can upgrade those daily walks to something insanely awesome like P90X3 (which is what I do nearly every day). Even when you upgrade to a more intense workout, take is easy to begin with. And don’t try to keep up with the “Superstars”. If you do, you’ll give up faster than speeding kitten. If you don’t and you go at your own pace and hit the pause button a hundred times (if necessary) to get through a workout you won’t. And in a few months time, you’ll be just good as they are or better. Obviously if you just watch the workout and don’t do anything, you’ll be far worse.
FYI: Exercise (much like waking up) has to be a daily commitment, even if it’s just one pushup a day.
If you need more guidance on how to transform your body (and your health) relatively effortlessly, you can refer to my “Kaizen Fusion game plan to permanent weight loss” here: https://supernaturalhq.com/advanced-weight-loss/
2. Be awesome
Treat everyone you meet (especially the folks at home) as the greatest people you’ve ever met. Or at the very least treat them (almost) as nice as your pets, but without getting murdered by your unsuspectingly adorable Puppy.
And if looking in the mirror frightens you, try wearing a smile over it. Then keep wearing that smile all day long until you hit the sack (or take your dentures off for the night).
And if hearing a playback of what you say to other people (especially when you’re not in a Sunny mood) doesn’t sound like music to your ears, consider having a muzzle on standby.
The people we take for granted even in the slightest will only be around until they come to their senses or until their Medication wears off.
3. Fuel your body right
The right fuel doesn’t just make you lose weight and look good. It makes you feel fabulous all day long.
When you have the right fuel in your body, the chemicals in your system works as they should without the usual coughs, sputters, hiccups, burps, sneezes and the uninterrupted cussing.
On the other hand, when you put the wrong stuff in, things become about as interesting as driving around with a lightning rod attached to your car’s bumper during a lightning storm.
So what is the right stuff? The right stuff is basically what our amazing Creator replenishes this planet with every single morning. No, not pancakes, waffles, donuts and bagels. We’re talking fresh fruits, vegetables, herbs, greens, nuts, spices, seeds and bucket loads of water.
You can throw in a few fresh eggs, a couple of glasses of fresh milk and some healthy oils into the mix as well. But I would definitely advise against red meat as it’s now said to be the leading cause of cancer and several other potentially heart-stopping, hair fizzing, nose twitching medical conditions. I am guessing that’s probably why our Creator designed us to be boring old herbivores.
Yep. The lack of fangs and retractable claws and the completely non-threatening growl all label us “leaf munching”, “music loving”, “health conscience” herbivores by default.
In fact, if you switch over to eating all fresh produces and refrain from animal proteins altogether, you’ll start deflating like a balloon within weeks.
Also with fresh produces, aim to have everything raw whenever possible as it makes a night and difference to your energy levels. But if this all of this sounds way too confusing and you’re concerned about your taste buds giving you nightmares, then just get yourself a Nutribullet, Nutri Ninja or a Vitamix and start out a few of the scrumptious “smoothie recipes” you see on there first. And instead of sticking to the usual 3 meals per day routine, start having a smoothie or a salad every 2-3 hours instead.
Just as important is your water intake. You should aim to have at least 1 glass of water every hour to help flush out those nasty toxins from your body regularly to keep you feeling as giggly as a dolphin.
4. Boost your Altitude with a double shot of Gratitude and Attitude
Gratitude starts the day off right. It opens the doors to the spiritual realm without the need for appointments and phone calls.
Then you have to start weaving a web of protection around your mind, in order to safeguard it from all the negative thoughts and inputs that try to wiggle their way in (from dawn to yawn). And the best way to do that is to have your portable MP3 or iPod by your bedside, loaded with some of the most inspiring and motivating audiobooks you can find.
That way as soon as you get done with your gratitude session, you can immediately get plugged into your inspirational session. And if have a wireless MP3 player or a headset you can attend to all of your non-lethal rituals around the house in the morning, while staying plugged in.
Oh…and don’t forget to give yourself a couple of booster shots (of inspiration, not drugs) during the day as well. Once your mind is done nibbling away at all those tidbits of inspiration from the morning, it’ll be starving for more. And if you don’t give it something to munch on soon, it’ll grab just about anything that shows up on the screen of your mind…even if it’s a bug.
Now, if you’re feeling daring enough and you’re sure that your brain can handle all the extra awesomeness, try watching an inspirational Video seminar sometime during the day. Given that Video seminars are far more engaging than the audible alternative, you’ll feel a dramatic difference in your mood (provided that you tuned into the right Seminar).
I also recommend watching or listening to something that absolutely tickles you right to the core whenever you notice your mood going flabby. When your brain is busy giggling away with joy, you’ll have a hard time keeping your lips locked in a frown for long.
It would also be worthwhile keeping a “mood recovery playlist” on standby for those “extra grumpy” days.
5. Be a smooth operator– Go through the day with an awesome attitude and an air of gratitude.
Gratitude, Graciousness, Generosity and Greatness (or “Supernatural 4G” as I like to call it) are the four traits that act as impenetrable shields that protect you from all kinds of “genuine” threats around the clock. And by staying dialed in day in and day out, you keep your “supernatural favor” and “supernatural protection” memberships active. But it does take a while for the application to get processed upstairs because they wanna know that you’re the real deal and that you’re not the kind of person who lapses into a coma the second you see a smiling spider.
Oh…and this works just as well regardless of your faith (or lack of it), much like you cannot be denied a legal 3-pointer just because you have hair sticking out of your nose or something.
And when you know that being sweet does pay off…big time, you cannot help but infect just about everyone around you and every person that you meet…with an act of “outrageous niceness”.
6. Rewire your negative thoughts
Despite our best efforts, some negative thoughts will slip through from time to time, just like the occasional junk mail that shows up in your inbox somehow.
Often times they’re about as threatening as Dragons that breathe bubbles. But as these thoughts are heavily laced with all kinds of doubt, worry, and negativity, our minds may embrace them with open arms and try to nudge us into agreeing with them.
So, the minute you notice the same thoughts popping up time and again, smile to yourself and say “Well, this itchy nose (or whatever the ‘concern’) is probably not gonna kill me”. Then grab a piece of paper or your journal and write those worries down immediately.
Then determine the legitimacy of those “worries” by asking yourself three simple questions:
- Will I die if this happens?
- Has this happened to me before?
- Is it really that bad?
If you’re not gonna die from it, take comfort in knowing that this storm (just like all the ones before it) will eventually blow over.
But if it’s life threatening (or is a genuine concern), then jot down at least 5 things you can do to take control of your situation (aside from writing your Will and leaving everything to your Cat).
Now, if you’ve dealt with something similar before and it worked out in your favor the last time, then chances are it will this time around as well. And if it didn’t, then all you have to do is NOT do the same dumb thing as you did before to get a better outcome.
Lastly, if it’s something that’s never happened to you and you don’t know of anyone that it’s happened to, then chances are it NEVER WILL. None of what you worry about is likely to come to pass anyway. It hasn’t for me. And it hasn’t for countless others.
So, whenever those negative thoughts try to tickle your brain into submission; write them down. Back the ‘legitimate threats’ with 5 or more viable solutions.
Then top it off with a cushy “safety thought” or two and little bit of strawberry sauce.
My top 3 safety thoughts (both in times of worry and crisis) are:
- If it happens, it won’t kill me
- I’ve been through so much worse.
- God’s told me how my story ends, so this setback will not be the end of me
When you’re committed to living right (even in the most microscopic of situations), the tides always turn in your favor eventually, EVERY single time. And, even if you feel that lightning has fried both your butt cheeks to a perfect crisp, you could still wake up the next morning to find that things have completely turned around in your favor overnight.
7. Change the channel now!– If you have the remote control in your hand and you’re the only one in front of the TV, then you don’t have to continue watching something that makes you cringe and choke on every inhalation. You can just change the channel.
Interestingly enough, you can do the same with your mind.
So, whenever you notice your mind tuning into a hideous station of its choice and reaching for the popcorn, give it a slap and change over to something that inspires and lifts your spirits instead.
You can switch the thoughts and images running on the screen of your mind with something awesome that’s happening in your life right now or something that you’re really looking forward to doing. Or you could just recall one of the happiest days of your life in vivid detail and set it to “loop”. But always have these “programs” prerecorded in your thoughts (with as much detail as possible), so all you have to do is toss in the Disc and hit play, whenever and wherever (aside from when you’re driving of course).
Also, get into the habit of using these strategies often; especially when you notice people waving their fists at you.
8. Keep your ice pack on– When things make you go “hmmm”, use forgiveness and compassion as your weapons of choice. It’s so much more effective and it saves a ton on Plastic Surgery (by not having to do any).
But if you notice your fists having a hard time coming to terms with that, tune into 15-30 minutes of guided meditation every morning after you get done with your workout and shower. Do the same in the Evening once you have gotten into the groove of things.
My personal preferences are Lifeflow (the lazy alternative to meditation), the Mindfulness of breathing meditation and the loving kindness meditation. They’re 100% non-religious and 100% Hamster friendly.
There’s ton of other “brands” of meditation out there with similar benefits. So go with one that appeals to you and leaves you with the least amount of “serial killer tendencies”.