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The Right Approach to Dealing with Failure

dealing with failure

See mistakes and failure as priceless lessons in life.

It’s so much easier (and cheaper) to pass an exam the first time around than it is to continue retaking the same exam year after year, until at some point you realize that you’re retaking your exams for the 50th time sitting next to your Grandkids.

When you fail a project, when your girlfriend/boyfriend transports you to a faraway Island in your sleep, when your Boss says they have never seen you before, or your Cat decides to do some serious Interior Design (while you’re at work), learn the lesson behind the failure quickly and change your approach the next time around. Otherwise you’ll be doomed to repeat those mistakes for decades or even Centuries to come.

Don’t try to “guess” what went wrong either, as this is the equivalent of trying out everything on the medicine cabinet before stumbling upon something that works.  If you aren’t sure, consult a “real expert” and find out. If you can’t find one or know someone who “genuinely qualifies”, then grab a couple of well-reviewed self-help books from (or a similar site) and start doing some self-diagnosis on your own.  The self-diagnosis approach is usually best as it often reveals more than one symptom that led to the poopy situation.

Just as importantly, be patient with the process. Not even Einstein was able to walk upright the second he jumped out of the pouch. And rumor has it that even he had to go through an intense and action packed Potty training phase, before being allowed to play with the big toys.

At the same time, NEVER assume that you were the reason behind ANY of your failure. Sure. Your arms, legs and lips were partially responsible for what happened. But the real culprit behind much of what had happened is the  “bad information” that you “inherited” from your Parents. That’s the same bad information that your Parents inherited from their Parents and so forth many generations down the line. It’s like a bad recipe that had been passed down for generations, where each generation makes the recipe even worse by adding a couple of their own icky ingredients. And just as a “bad taste” in the mouth can be “washed away” with a “whole lot of coconut water” (or just water), so can the bad taste that’s gotten lodged in your brain. Obviously with the brain (or more accurately “the mind”), it takes a whole lot more effort to dislodge all the icky stuff and leave it smelling alpine fresh.

For example, if what caused the failure is the result of an “icky habit” (such as repeatedly sneezing on your partner’s face during a conversation) then make a conscious effort to avoid repeating that costly habit on a day by day basis, until it’s gotten flushed out of your system completely.

If on the other hand, it’s the result of a trait or a skill that you’re missing (such as not knowing how to fly before taking on a Pilot job) then it’s really a matter of acquiring the skill. And then mastering them through daily practice and repetition until they become as second nature to you as a hiccup or a sneeze. Yes. The practice part is just as important, because nobody wants to be stuck in a plane with someone whose only ever flown a plane a couple of times before…in a simulation.

Then when you’re done “repainting” one good habit (over a bad one), pick another and continue the process until you have pretty much repainted every dark corner of your mind with “pure awesomeness”.  But avoid the urge to repaint more than one or two areas in your mind at any given time. Even the best painter in the World can only paint one room at a time.



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