Wanna seal the deal?
1. Be happy around him at all times – Men have a “secret agenda”. But it’s not what you think. Their agenda is quite simply to “Make the Women and Children in their lives happy”. But since Men have very little relationship sense and don’t have the inherent ability to read body language and facial expressions as Women do, they have to go by the most obvious tell-tale signs.
For instance, is she smiling from ear to ear and giggling at his jokes or is she looking at him with beady little eyes, while gripping onto a butter knife?
2. Tear down your walls – Ever heard the song “Two hearts with just one mind” by Phil Collins? Men see marriage as building a seamless bridge connecting two loving souls. So, he doesn’t particularly enjoy walking just halfway across on solid ground and having to float the rest of the way
3. Wear your heart on your sleeve – A Man wants to know that he has unrestricted “access to her heart at the click of a mouse button” without having to be prompted for a password. And until that happens he won’t be willing to toss his heart into the raffle drum.
4, Don’t talk about your ex-lovers – Ex-lovers make Men feel very insecure about themselves on many levels. “Boys” won’t mind this much because they are just out to “play” anyway. Whilst mentioning ex-lovers may be a necessary evil to tearing down the walls, only cover this topic ONCE and keep the details to a minimum. If he feels at any point that he’s in a competition that he cannot win or that you’re not the kind of person who can make an unconditional and unwavering commitment to a single person, he’ll start having some serious doubts.
5. Be his cheerleader – When you look at an NFL game, often times we think that Cheerleaders are just there to make the game look a little “prettier”. But that’s far from the truth. Cheerleaders are really who keep the scoreboard ticking.
You’ve no doubt heard that behind the success of every great leader (in any field or endeavor) is a Woman. Well, that’s very true. When a Man has the “right kind of Woman” in her corner cheering him on and telling him how proud she is of him day in and day out he’s almost invincible.
6. Build up his EGO – EGO is a huge deal for Men because it is what defines who they are at the very core. In many ways, it’s more important to them than Food or Water, because it is what makes them willing enough to take a bullet (or a pie) for the people they care about.
And, if his ego is fed regularly and generously (using positive reinforcement), he would go on to become a mighty Lion. If it’s not, you’ll end up with a Teddy Bear with all the “extra parts” missing.
So, if you’re looking for a relationship that can last a lifetime, make it a habit to feed his ego every opportunity that you get. Be his Cheerleader, compliment him on his physique and virtues, make him feel like he’s running the show (even though he’s really not) , brag about him to your friends (and his) and even show him off in your Social Media accounts.
On the flip side, if you bruise his ego by using negative reinforcement, criticism, blame, disrespect or even make a joke at his expense, then he’ll almost immediately start looking for greener pastures elsewhere. It’s just his way of “ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin alive”.
7. Keep the faith – Men are known to knock themselves out of the race too many times. And then they come up with these long-term plans that don’t make much sense (especially when the mortgage is due or the house Cat has to live on one celery stick a day).But if you’re the kind of Woman that a Man would sell his walnuts for (i.e a virtuous Woman who makes him feel like a Man), then he’ll fight tooth and nail to make things right. And when he eventually wins, he’ll even make sure that your “belief in him” is paid for a hundredfold.
8. Keep it brief – Men suffer from a vocal deficiency called the “Muzzle Syndrome” or more commonly referred to as the “Did you say something illness”. It’s basically the result of a Man’s speech part of the brain (known as the Broca area) being err… “asleep” most of the time. Men were designed this way, so that they can be out in the scariest part of the jungle all day, shopping for “live rabbits”, and never have the urge to phone up their Wives/Girlfriends with a quick update on how things are going.
So, when talking to Men, always keep it brief. Otherwise, they can go into a shock, resulting from a conversation overload. Also if you want him to just listen, ask him to listen to you like he’s just listening to the weather report (i.e without interrupting).
Men are like Paramedics. They wanna identify the problem quickly and patch it up before it bleeds you dry. So as soon he hears you talking long enough for him to “identify” what’s wrong, then he’ll pounce on you like a Leopard with bandages in hand. And then he’ll even pat himself on the back for saving the day.
9. Avoid talking about problems that don’t need fixing – Men hate the feeling of being helpless. Telling him about a problem that doesn’t need fixing just makes him feel like a wuss because he’s designed to fix it and fix it and then fix it some more.
Ever heard a man murmur the words “fix it” in his sleep? That’s because he dreams about fixing stuff even in his sleep.
10. Be vulnerable – Letting a Man see what you’re going through when you’re genuinely in a place of distress lets him know that you’re “human” too, but more importantly it tells him that you’re a real Woman. Most Women try to put on a brave face even when they’re dealing with a sheet load of stuff. But when Men see is this tough Robocop exterior, it often makes them question their own value as Men and whether he’s actually necessary for the relationship.
11. He’s got a heart cut out from a pumpkin – Don’t expect him to process any of the everyday emotions that you’re going through. He just won’t get it, at least not in the way that you do. Compared to Women (who see the World in vivid bright color), Men pretty much see the world in plain black and white. That’s because they’re designed to deal with boring Life and Death matters. So, they’re just unable to process emotions below a certain intensity. That’s why they often whisk through the romance and jump straight into the operating room and why they beat the crabs out of the big bad wolf that turns up at the door wearing a red cloak, with very little conversation.
Also in terms of the way he communicates, he’s designed to be direct and blunt (in much the same way his physique is designed). So his words might not have a finesse, care, and elegance that Women generally put into their words.
So, don’t judge him for being “seemingly insensitive”. Judge him based on how much effort he puts into being a good provider, protector, and procreator (which is basically what he’s designed for).
12. Stand by your Man – Marriage for Men is pretty much a done deal. In his mind, putting a ring on a Woman’s finger is like telling her that he loves her every single minute of every single day, without actually having to say it. But in exchange for the ring, he wants to know that he will always be her number one, even when stinky baby diapers come into play. Most Men feel ostracized when Children come into the picture, which is why there’s a higher probably for them to walk away from the relationship at this stage than any other.
13. Say goodbye to drama – Often times when Men are subjected to Drama of any kind, it sets them off in a flurry of sneezes and hiccups. An allergic reaction perhaps?
14. Refrain from early intimacy – 90% of all romantic relationships that enter into physical intimacy within the first 2 years, don’t last. This is mainly due to the fact that if a Guy sweet talks his way into jumping ahead to the last scene of the movie (before falling in love), he won’t see the point of watching it again. But if he did fall in love(which takes at least a year or two) and that was what led to the intimacy, then it would be a whole other story.
As Dr. Patricia Allen puts it “Boys like Vag!na$, Men like Virtues”
15. Commit to unconditional love – When you buy or lease a car, how would you feel if the dealership told you that you can only have it, provided that you never take it to a Mall or a Restaurant? As soon as love becomes conditional, it instantly becomes another sinking Titanic with Celine Dion on lead vocals (again).
16. Refrain from the urge to change those “annoying habits” – When we first meet someone dazzling and charming, we’re immediately drawn to the 12 sweetest things that make them irresistibly yummy. But then, after the first 12 months of total fairy tale bliss, we notice yet another 12 traits, this time not so sweet.
And as soon as we do, we get to work to fix them. But when we try plucking out the raisins from a fully baked cake, if usually gets messy.
Every horse has his share of muck. That muck, unfortunately, is part of the package.
17. Make him feel important – Much like Women respond to attentiveness, affection, and appreciation, Men crave Admiration, Acceptance, and Appreciation. This is the fuel that keeps him chugging and humming along. If you wanna be treated like a Princess, treat him like a Prince and don’t forget that the reaping always comes after the sowing.
If you love somebody, set them free – Remember the iconic scene from the Movie Braveheart where Mel Gibson says “They can take our lives but they’ll never take our Freedom or our Baseball Cards”?
Nothing turns a Man off than feeling like he’s on a leash and is accountable for everything he does and says. So him free.
18. Shower him with VIRTUES – Ever seen the perfect Prince Charming end up with an average looking girl? And you cannot wrap your head around why he’s so head over heals over her? She doesn’t have the skills, the looks, the money, the education, the social status, the humor, the fashion sense and doesn’t even have anything interesting to say. So why does he look at her like the whole world around him doesn’t exist anymore?
Well, that’s because she’s hit him over the head with something much stronger than a frying pan or a rolling pin. He’s been hit over the head with a bucketful of “virtues”. The importance of virtues cannot be emphasized.Virtues are like a stronghold that Men cannot break free from. Men love and appreciate a Woman with a heart of gold than anything else.
19. Dress Sexy and Elegant – By elegant, I don’t mean expensive or glamorous. A simple dress that fits really well with a “little” bit of bust and leg cleavage, capped off with matching high heels, simple jewelry, light makeup and a smile big enough to light up the whole room, does the job every time. Oh, and don’t forget the push-up Bra (unless he doesn’t have a pulse).