Would taking off the mouth guard momentarily (to smile for the camera) in the middle of a fight be a good idea for a Professional boxer?
And yet, that’s precisely what we do in most areas in our lives:
- We spend the whole day at work thinking about how everyone’s doing at home; Then we take a day off from work to spend it with the family and spend that day worrying about how our friends are coping at work.
- We sit through a business meeting thinking about what’s for lunch;And then spend that lunchtime trying to figure out what they were talking about in the meeting.
- We spend our Winters, complaining about the lack of sunshine and the 25 layers of Woolen clothing we have to walk around in; And then when Summer rolls around, we complain about how Hot and Humid the Weather had gotten
- We go on a Date and spend the whole evening looking at everything (and everyone) other than the person right in front of us; And then spend the remainder of the week trying to figure out why they aren’t returning our calls.
Distractions truly have become the new “cost-free” drug of this Century. The main reason for that is because now we can afford to be surrounded by numerous distractions and still not get killed (in most situations anyway).
But had we stopped to check our text messages out in the Wilderness (in broad daylight) 10,000 years ago, we would most likely see a flash of light followed up with a loud thud and then wake up on the Dinner plate of an Alligator or a Dingo.
Distractions may not kill us nowadays (especially since most Wild Animals are deathly afraid of shoes and the ever fluctuating currency exchange rate). But they can still cost us big time in our Relationships, our finances, our health and in our Spiritual connection with the Creator.
And that price can easily get passed down for many Generations (since most of our behaviors ‘automatically’ get passed down anyway).
The Distraction Remedy
Fortunately for us (just like it’s possible to break every single bad habit that had been passed down to us since the Dinosaur era) we can also break free from the gravitational pull that distractions have on us, using 4 simple strategies:
- Meditation
- Deliberate Attentiveness
- Thought reframing
- Cookies
Okay. The Cookies might not work. So we’ll just go with the other 3 strategies.
Usually when we’re down with any kind of illness, our Doctor prescribes a series of medications. Then he/she recommends a few lifestyle changes to help us with our recovery. And normally, when we follow their instructions and stay faithful to the medication, we make a full recovery.
Likewise, this “Treatment” takes a similar commitment of around 30-60 days (30 days for your mind and body to stop arguing with each other and a further 30 days to see a transformational difference).
But after the “treatment” is done and the straitjacket has been removed, you’ll be emotionally stronger, resilient, happier, free of tension and strife, more productive, feel calm and collected, sleep better, feel 440lbs lighter and have a sudden interest in kayaking. More importantly, you won’t be needing a stash of M&M Peanuts to keep your “mind” under control.
Phase one: Meditation
All of the Meditations I practice are non-religious and 100% Kitten and Puppy friendly. But you can definitely go with a religious Meditation if you prefer.
Now, just as a quick forewarning, if you live with Pets (and maybe a few Humans), there’s a high probability of them joining in with your Meditations after a while. So if ‘excess tranquility’ and ‘Meditating Kittens’ bothers you, then this might not be for you.
Now, the best time to Meditate is usually before you start Work…because it gives you an extra layer of emotional armor to shield you from your Boss’s moodiness, Workplace drama, cheap Coffee and even possibly a bad weather report.
I personally do 30 minutes of the “Mindfulness of Breathing Meditation” or the “Loving Kindness Meditation” just after my morning Workout and Shower. And then finish off the day with a session of “Life Flow” (which is commonly referred to as the plug, and play alternative to Meditation).
Both the “Mindfulness of Breathing” and the “Loving Kindness Meditation” are guided Meditations, which may require a little more concentration than normal (depending on your definition of ‘normal’). But, if you wanna take it super easy, then I would recommend that you start out with a session of Life Flow instead.
Before you proceed, there are a few minor complaints associated with Meditation that you would need to be aware of…such as the swaying, snoring, twirling and floating…which usually occur as a result of ‘over relaxing’.
The twirling and floating parts aren’t that common by the way. So, there’s really no need to close all the Doors and Windows beforehand.
Even the snoring and swaying parts can be averted/minimized through a few precautionary measures:
- Get yourself a good night of rest
- Get yourself a high-quality Zafu Meditation Cushion Set
- Sit upright throughout the session
- Avoid leaning back, forward or sideways and
- Set the room temperature slightly below what you’re comfortable with(but not below freezing though, as you don’t wanna be frozen in place like a Popsicle)
- Oh…and you might wear something other than your pajamasfor the Meditation.
- Stay the course no matter what, as the benefits you get to enjoy will outweigh your efforts manifold (year after year). Much like committing to Brushing your teeth daily (so as to not frighten anyone with a smile, you would commit to meditating daily…so that you never lose your cool and go all “Jaws” on your friends or family.
Phase 2: Deliberate Attentiveness
While you’re waiting for the effects of those daily Meditations to kick in, you’ll need an additional tool or two to keep your mind from making a run for it.
In that regard, this little strategy plays the role of the “handcuffs” that keeps things in check.
Conceptually it works much in the same way as the daily meditations. But instead of having to sit through a whole session, you’ll just be using a single thought to reel your mind back in whenever it decides to go for a scroll.
So, if at any time you notice your mind tiptoeing away, you could just holler something like “Here” or “Be here”; but without saying it out loud and whilst resisting the temptation to use a Megaphone.
Also, you may need to repeat this phrase assertively (but lovingly) a few times over as your mind does tend to have a “mind of its own”. The one thing that you don’t wanna do is do this exercise after getting totally pissed off about something. That might just cause your mind to make a run for it and leave you “temporarily mindless”.
Phase 3: Thought Reframing
Our worrisome thoughts (however small they are), love to be the center of attention. As such, they will go out of their way to get your attention and keep it there if you let them.
Therefore, we have to get into the habit of “flipping those thoughts around” much like how you would flip a pancake. So, the next time you notice a worrisome thought, sneaking into the living room of your mind, grab it by its paws, reframe it and then cut it lose.
And here’s what that process looks like in action:
Let’s say that you’re worried about forgetting to pack something absolutely vital to your survival (like your favorite Toothpaste) for your next Vacation.
So, you could reframe that thought with something positive and factual like “Well…if I take my time to write out a really good checklist and triple check that list before going to stay over at my neighbor’s, I should be just fine. And even if I do forget something, it’s highly unlikely that it’s gonna cause me to suffocate and die on the spot.”
Likewise, you may have a negative thought that keeps reminding you of the last 117 breakups and 1503 no callback dates that you’ve had. And that thought maybe trying to convince you that you’ll most likely be single for the rest of this millennium.
So (just as before) you would reframe that baloney of a thought with something factual like: “Well, the reason why I’ve been going through so many breakups and no callback dates is because I’m clearly doing something (if not a few hundred things) wrong. Therefore, if I just grab a few well-reviewed books on Relationships and take the time to understand the ‘completely different languages’ that Men and Women speak and put that good stuff to practice every day, I too can have my very own mind-bogglingly beautiful love story that will last a lifetime.”
This thought reframing strategy not only helps you to neutralize the worrisome thoughts that get stuck on the windscreen of your mind from time to time, but it also helps to keep your mind free of distractions. And thereby allows you to focus more effectively on the task at hand.
