Would you believe it if I told you that the whole human race as a species was never designed to be overweight? In fact, if you were to get into one of those time travel pods (purchasable at any good Best Buy store) and go back in time 2.8 million years or more, you’ll notice that every single person there has abs as flat as pancakes and legs as fit as wooden logs.
So, how’s that possible?
Well… way back in the day, they didn’t have the technology to process, package or preserve food. But, what they did have access to are acres and acres of “nature”. And since none of them (aside from Wolverine) had retractable claws, hunting for food wasn’t much of an option. And with the exception of the occasional Dingo dropping dead on the sidewalk out of boredom, there really wasn’t enough meat to go around. Sure, they could have used sarcasm as an effective hunting tool, but that’s normally a very time-consuming process.
So they had to settle for Fruits, Vegs, Greens, Nuts, a few Dingoes, and Eggs.
And since they were pretty much out in the Wilderness and had no proper way of defending themselves, it also meant that should a Grizzly Bear call in during their Lunch hour, they either had to drop whatever they were doing and run for their lives or surrender with salt and pepper shakers in hand. Also back in those days Bears, Lions, Pythons, and Cheetahs weren’t in the habit of making appointments before calling in.
So these regular “survival sprints”, combined with a generous supply of fresh water, organic Fruits, Vegetables, Greens, and Nuts kept them ridiculously fit by default. In fact, they looked so fine that they couldn’t help but say “damn!” every time they saw their own reflection in a mirror.
And that’s basically it all comes down to: “The cleaner you eat and the meaner your workouts, the leaner you become”.
So as you can guess, I have indeed incorporated many of these “prehistoric principles” (excluding anything fashion and hygiene related) to my own lifestyle.
And here’s what that looks like:
For 6 days a week all I eat is fresh fruits, vegetables, greens, nuts, and eggs (around 4-5 per day). And I always start the day off with a fruit smoothie. It used to be a Coffee one time. But not anymore as Coffee is acidic enough to damage the stomach lining and cause ulcers. In the worst case scenario, it can even cause you to sing out of tune in public. You can still have a coffee or two later on in the day if you prefer, but only after you have had a few non-citric fruits and vegetables to neutralize the Lava.
As per the salads, I always sprinkle in a few “clean” spices and a pinch of pure sea salt in there to give it a little sizzle and dazzle. By the way, spices only qualify as “clean” when they have nothing in there other than the actual spice. So, whenever you see an ingredient that knows doesn’t come from nature (like Baby Spice) or something that takes you 2 hours to pronounce, then it’s no different to a drug dealer claiming that they run a “clean” business. The same rule applies when you’re buying anything canned, bottled or packaged.
In addition to the spices, I also toss in a few whole eggs and a generous drizzle of extra virgin olive oil into the mix. You can also use rapeseed oil or sesame oil if you prefer. Healthy oils help patch up the holes in the storage container, thereby keeping the hunger pangs at bay.
And as per the smoothies, I just grab a few good recipes from the official Nutri Ninja website. It might also not be such a bad idea to get a Blender to go with the recipes, like an actual Nutri Ninja. There’re other similar heavy duty blenders in the market that can rip through tough and mean Veggies like a knife through butter, such as the Vitamix and the Nutribullet. But my personal experience is limited to the Ninja.
It’s vitally important to always have a smoothie or salad or something else that’s just as healthy (and not recommended by an overweight Chef) every 2-3 hours.
Small portions get digested quickly. And as you’re giving your body the stuff that Mother Nature intended it to have in their purest form (i.e. raw), you don’t have to worry about any of it getting jammed in digestion traffic for days (or longer). Our digestive systems work in part like a barcode reader. If it recognizes what’s going in, it has no problems processing it. But you may not always hear the beep, though.
Just as important is having a glass of water every hour. It’s neither fun or productive to swim around in an empty pool. Likewise, there’s not much the digestive tract can do, if there’s nothing to push the food along the tracks consistently toward its final destination. Also, Water plays a pivotal role in the prevention and cure department (regardless of the condition).
So that’s my Monday to Saturday regimen, which means on Sundays I go absolutely nuts and eat and drink anything I darn well, please. But I always give Alcohol a miss as I prefer to remember what happened the next day.
How about meat and fish? Well, I believe our Creator wasn’t having a bad day when he decided against giving us retractable claws and fangs (the stuff that Carnivores use for hunting when there’s a shortage of BB guns). So, no retractable claws and fangs mean we’re herbivores by design.
Combine that with the fact that Red Meat is now said to be the leading cause of Cancer and a contributor to numerous excruciatingly inconvenient health ailments, it might not be such a bad idea to keep all the fishy and meaty business on the down-low for… ever.
So, keeping an eye on who and what sneaks into your digestive system gets you started on the wool shedding process. In fact, just taking care of what you eat and drink can help you lose a considerable amount of unnecessary fluff in as little as a few short months.
But if you want a truly sustainable solution and one that doesn’t make you look like a deflated balloon afterward, then we’ll need to incorporate a regular workout program into your routine as well, like the one that I’m on right now.
My Workout Regimen?
On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays: I do a session each of the “Classic Bullworker”. It’s not a very popular piece of equipment. But it is effective in targeting more muscle groups in a single session than any other exercise equipment or routine that I know of.
On Tuesdays, I do the “Dynamix” and “Accelerator” Modules from the P90X3 Program.
On Thursday, I do the “CVX” and “Isometric” Modules also from P90X3.
And on Saturdays, I do the “Incinerator” and “Eccentric Upper” Modules from P90X3.
Lastly on Sundays, I put on some sweet music and go for a run by the River.
But this wasn’t where I started. I actually started out with a walk around the block, whilst listening to Tony Robbins’s “Personal Power II” program on a brick-sized portable CD player. And that was shortly after breaking up with my first Wife many centuries ago.
I opted for 30-minute power walks right off the bat even though my body was only fit enough to handle 10-minutes at a time on maximum Turtle speed.
The plan was to somehow channel as much of my emotional pain as possible to my arms, legs, cheekbones and other muscle groups so that my mind can chill out and not worry about the situation.
So unless you have enough emotional pain to the point of feeling like you’re walking around with a Baby Elephant on your shoulders all the time, then I would suggest that you start out with a nice and breezy 10-minute daily walk instead. You can then increase the duration of those walks by 3-5 minutes per week until you can comfortably manage 30 minutes at a time.
And once your legs start looking forward to those regular walks as much as you do, start playing with the walking speeds by going a little faster and further every time. One of the easier and more effective ways of accomplishing this is to get yourself a Gymboss Interval timer (or similar) and start alternating your speeds in 30-60 second sessions.
So for the first 30-60 second session, you would go on full throttle like you’re trying to catch a flight or something. Then you would sleepwalk the session that follows. And so forth.
And once your legs start feeling like they’re ready for more, give them something a little more fun and intense like P90X3.
After that, you can either stick with P90X3 for the entirety of your workout regimen or incorporate a few Bullworker workouts and perhaps a run into the mix as I have done.
I went with P90X3 mainly because I can relate to Tony Horton’s personality and sense of humor. And the workouts are incredibly fun too.
Nothing beats giggling while groaning in pain.
