Give your kids the freedom of choice, but have a Kid patrol car parked around the corner just in case…
When Children are deprived of their freedom to choose, their decision-making muscles start going flabby. In fact, if you poke them on the head with your finger and it feels mushy, it’s probably already happening.
Leaders in any field or endeavor are STRONG decision makers. Decision makers are the movers and shakers in this world and other strange planets (where they have no Internet or Coffee).
So, as long as they’re not doing any science experiments on the Cat or the Dog or they’re not robbing a nearby Toy Store, then let em make some bad decisions. Let me put it this way, if they try walking through a glass door without opening it first, they’ll probably not wanna do it again.
But, if you try to numb their growing pains and make life cozy for them, they’ll expect the whole world to do the same and when it doesn’t, they’ll fall flat on their faces and stay there for a long time.
Therefore mistakes, whilst sour at first, will taste a lot sweeter when the experience ripens. So encourage them to make decisions boldly and let them know that if at any time they make the wrong decision, they can always make the right one afterward. As the former CEO and Co-Founder of IBM puts it “If you wanna increase your success rate, double your failure rate”
When they know that you’re on their side and that you’ll never blame, criticize or punish them no matter WHAT they do,then whenever they have a “real” problem,you’ll be the first person they reach out to (or at the very least you’ll be in their Top 10 somewhere).
The good news (and possibly the bad) is that kids (aside from their Career choice, fashion, movies, and music) pretty much become carbon copies of their Parents. So, if you’re a loving Mom or Dad who loves each other just as much, is kind and helpful to everyone you know and your graceful lifestyle has made you a magnet to God’s favor, then that’s how your Child’s “autopilot mode” will also get wired. However, if you are someone who smokes, drinks, does every drug under the sun, cheats on your spouse and gets remarried every 2 months, then that’s exactly who your kids will turn out to be (sooner or later).
But while we wait for those seeds to sprout, they’re still gonna be curious enough to try out whatever crazy thing they see on TV, the Web or hear from their friends, just to pass the time. And if they have too much of a blast in the process, and you can tell from the gleam in their eyes that they’re likely to repeat the behavior, then corrective measurements may be necessary, just to keep them out of Jail.
So when it does become a necessary evil, make it your highest priority to disconnect ALL your emotions from the experience and just focus on addressing the issue at hand. If you suddenly find yourself laughing more hideously than Dracula, then you’re probably making it a “little” too personal.
Also, make the punishment fit the crime. For instance, if they used their homemade medieval catapult to sling your pet cat to a different part of town, then don’t send them to spend a weekend with the Wicked Witch of the East. Try taking away their favorite toy or TV show away for a week instead.
But prevention is always so much sweeter than the cure. So,perhaps it might not be such a good idea to keep the matches next to the crib and have a TV show on “How to become a Professional Arsonist in 7 days”playing on TV. So, the best preventative medicine is to discard every match-like vice from the house, starting with access to numerous TV shows and websites. With regards to controlling access on your TV, why not consider dumping your Cable and Network channels and getting yourself signed up for an Amazon Fire TV subscription (or similar) instead? You’ll get access to more shows than we can handle in a few lifetimes and you’ll be able to lock down those shows that make Kids believe that Bank Robbery is a legitimate career option. Also, the money you save by discarding your cable subscriptions (when accumulated over the years) could well be enough to put your Kids through College, seriously.
In addition to limiting their options, you can also expand their horizons and healthy options by listening to “entertaining” self-help programs in your car and by watching a good Seminar on DVD on the Big screen regularly.
This will help “program” your kids the right way, while they’re still in their manufacturing plant. And, it is even more important in their formative years, when their little cookie dough brains are still malleable and absorbent.
