How can you make a Man commit without handcuffs?
1.Break down your walls – Mutual trust is a big deal for a Man. It’s helped him to keep his ass relatively blemish free way back in the day when he was out grocery shopping with his Stone Age buddies.
And even though, the chances of a bumping into a very famished Lion at the Mall these days is slim to none, Men still associate this trust component to almost every relationship they form.
But, in the case of a romantic relationship, the kind of trust that he’s looking for is based on his Partner’s ability to handle a blizzard or two with a smile and whether or not she decides to wait till Halloween to let all the Skeletons in her Closet to come out and party.
2. Be happy – A Man’s main purpose in life (aside from taking out the trash and changing light bulbs) is to keep the Lady in his life happy.
And given that Men are only receptive to the most intense of emotions, he uses her perkiness and cheerfulness as a measure of determining how happy She is when She’s around him.
Just telling him that you’re happy might make sense too (as long as you don’t sound like the Terminator when you say it).
3. Wear your heart on your sleeve – If you have your heart locked up in a safety deposit box in a remote island somewhere when you’re around him, he may have a slightly harder time forming a real connection with you.
4. Downplay your past relationships – Initially, when you’re trying to find out about each other, it makes sense for you to walk, talk and sleep with a magnifying glass in hand. It’s also the season to let all your Cats (and your pocket size Dogs) out the bag for some fresh air.
But once the “investigatory phase” has passed, those memories are best left buried way deep in the chronicles of your past without a single shovel in sight. Otherwise, it may turn out to be the sequel to “Friday the 13th”.
5. Be awesome – Relationships sizzling with joy, laughter, consideration, and understanding and are free of judgment, criticism, blame, drama, gossip, sharp objects and soap Operas just keep on rocking year after year.
6. Be spontaneous and playful – Most Men have the personality and liveliness of about a Brick.
So the way to get his pulse working again is to bring out that playful “inner girl” that you had locked away since your Cheer Leading days. But be careful not to overpower him and blow his fake eyebrows off in the process.
7. Be accepting – Ever wondered why you can’t order a Racehorse off a Catalog or just buy one from a Departmental Store? Well, that’s because despite their awesome strength, magnificence and their uncanny ability to tap dance, Horses are a very messy Business.
Every Horse regardless of how many times you tell him still refuses to use the bathroom . And to make it worse, he leaves all the muck for you to clean up.
Not fair at all is it? But.. it’s a freaking Horse. And that’s sort of what you sign up for.
You cannot have a Rose without the Thorn, a beautiful garden without some stinky fertilizer or a fit body without a good amount sweat. The minute you cut one out of the equation, you lose the other.
So, do all your poking, pinching and prodding while he’s still sitting on the shelf with a shiny little price tag and then accept him wholly for who he is afterward.
At the same time, keep your screening criteria to a list of 5-10 things that you’ll simply not budge on. Otherwise, you’ll have better luck making him out of cookie dough.
8. Treat him like a Man – What do Kettles, Toasters, and Ovens have in common aside from making a lot of necessary and unnecessary heat?
Yep. They all need some“power”to get them going. And without the power, you can’t make em do anything, even if you get them to listen to Les Brown and Tony Robbins all day long.
Men work in a very similar manner, although I wouldn’t quite recommend plugging him into a wall socket.
Also unlike your everyday household appliance, Men work on a different “type” of electricity. The type of electricity that Men run on is good old-fashioned “nurturing energy” seasoned with a hint of“admiration”, “appreciation” and “authority”.
The Admiration,Appreciation and Authority model is most prominent in the Military. So, aside from their loved ones, these 3 elements serve as the the electricity that makes these fine soldiers ready and willing to do whatever it takes to protect each other in the lunch room and to serve their Country.
But in the home front, it’s primarily driven by a Woman’s nurturing energy.
So, in reality, She holds all the power in the equation because without the Electricity, the only thing the ‘appliance’ can do is just sit in front of the Sofa and look pretty.
9. Bring out that loving feeling –
We all love spending money but feel less thrilled about having to work for it. But if we don’t, there won’t be that much to spend.
Much the same can be said about love, except the giving and receiving of it isn’t as transparent and as obvious. So we make the judgment based on our own biased assessments. It’s like the Boss telling us that we’re eligible for a raise and then letting us decide how much that would be.
Everybody claims that they love their partners unconditionally. But in reality, we only love them unconditionally for as long as they meet all our terms and conditions.
10. Talk to him about stuff he can “fix” – If you haven’t noticed already Men have an insatiable fixation to fixing stuff, especially when they don’t need fixing.
So the minute his first baby tooth shows up, he slips into his Diaper and his little superhero cape(which also doubles up as a kitchen tablecloth) and he gets to work saving the World, one evil Ice Cream at a time.
That’s sort of the way he’s wired. So, if you want him to just listen without jumping in with his “paramedic outfit” to save the day (as he sees it), then tell him to just listen to you like he’s watching the weather report on TV without interrupting. More importantly tell him that it helps you to feel better.
At the same time, keep in mind that Weather reports are generally very brief. So you may wanna leave out all the extra icing and whip cream whenever you have to give him a quick “weather update”. Otherwise, he may very likely go into a shock from bewilderment.
11. Be Direct – Ever wondered why most Men can’t take a hint? That’s because unlike Women who have access to a rich plethora of emotions and see the World in vivid color, Men pretty much see the World in Black and White with very few shades of gray in between. So if the message isn’t as blunt as a rolling pin saying hello to his forehead, then it really won’t even register in his brain.
For instance, instead of asking him whether he’s hungry or not, try telling him that you’re hungry. Instead of admiring something in the Store hoping that he would notice, tell him how much you like it.
This may feel uncomfortable at first, but there’s just no way around it. If you wanna talk to a Horse, you have no choice than to get down and horsey with it.
12. Be Golden – One of the simpler ways to make any relationship work, is to ask yourself one simple question every day and that is: “Does this dress make my ass look big?”. Er.. Not exactly. The question should be: “Would I wanna be in a relationship with myself?”
While it’s true that Men and Women are as different as Apples and Oranges, they still respond the same way to Sunshine, the Rain or a slice of cake.
So, if you want your Horse to win a couple of races and gallop a few Bank Robberies for you, try feeding, grooming and caring for him first. Likewise, if you want him to treat you like a Princess, try treating him like a Prince or a King first.
The reaping always comes after the sowing. And sometimes, the sowing takes a very (yawn) long time.
13. Whack him with virtues – The way to a Man’s heart is through..virtues?! I’m sure that you’ve heard it being said that the way to a Man’s heart is through his stomach. But it’s not so much the cooking or the brilliant culinary skills that do the job. If that were the case, he would have fallen in love with every Gourmet Chef in the City by now.
Instead, what he appreciates far much more is how much love she pours into the effort and how “special” he feels as a result of the experience.
The cooking can be nothing short of brilliant. But if it was backed it up with a list of all the things she disliked about him (starting with his face) and a list of all the snowstorms that She believes he’s responsible for, then the Meal may not be as delicious.
So in essence, he falls in love with that nurturing,graceful and caring side of her, more than the cooking itself.
14. Give him his daily Medicine – But not too soon, though.
How compelled would you be to watch a movie if you had already seen the last 10 minutes of it?
If a Guy gets to cheat his way to “playing Doctor and Nurse” way before he genuinely falls in love (which usually takes at least a year), then chances are he’ll not really feel like sitting through more than a few reruns (even if you pumped him with enough popcorn to keep him weighed down).
This is why more than 90% of couples who “turn on their ovens” within the first two years of their relationship, don’t stay together.
15. Loosen the grip on his collar – Remember that iconic scene from the movie Brave Heart where William Wallace says “They can take our Lattes but they’ll never take our freedom”?. Freedom is as important to guys as Oxygen and Donuts are.
But his definition of freedom is quite simply to live without having a cute little leash stringing him along and to live without feeling like he has to get a hall pass whenever he wants to leave the classroom.
16. R-E-S-P-E-C-T – Men have a severe allergic reaction to sarcasm and negative reinforcement. In fact, they pretty much have the opposite effect on Men than it does on Women.
What does work is good old-fashioned, untainted respect (ooh.. just a little bit).
17. Be confident – Isn’t it a great feeling to know that the person next to you isn’t someone who bumps into every wall that you walk by and stumble over every jagged edge in the street?
True confidence lies in your inner beauty, your virtues, the warmness of your smile and your self-esteem. Give them a little stir, throw in a little dab of cayenne pepper for good measure and you have yourself one hot, confident and sexy Supergirl ready to bring down the house in style.
18. Be a tiny bit vulnerable – Whilst breaking into a sob over every broken nail and ketchup spill is a huge turnoff, not holding back the occasional tear that you shed over another human being (him in particular) does the complete opposite. In many instances, it even deepens the love he has for you manyfold.
That’s because nothing makes a Man feel more like a real Man, than when he’s given the opportunity to play the inherent role that’s he’s been put here for, which is to provide, protect and procreate.
In many ways, it’s the equivalent of a Woman’s inherent role to nurture and care for her Children.
So, let him be your Knight in Shinning Armor once in a while. And if you’re concerned about the furniture and the safety of your Cat, get him one of those Knight Costumes to play with.
19. Be Feminine – Both Men and Women are busy trying to impress the heck out of each other with what impresses them and later when things don’t pay off as planned, they assume that it’s because they’re not “pretty enough”, “smart enough” or because they lost all their teeth to smoking.
But if the evolution of Technology and Social Trends didn’t transform the Human Species into some mystical creature, then it’s safe to assume that the laws of Romantic attraction are pretty much the same as what they were when Bananas were considered legal tender.
So, borrow a page from the rules of attraction from your Grandma, spruce it up with a heavy dose of sexiness we’ve got one heck of a killer Kitten on the loose.
20. Keep the private stuff “private” – Unlike Women who share almost everything with each other (except their toothbrushes), Men rarely ever talk about very personal matters. Even if they do, they only talk about things at a very surface and non-intimate level.
So, if a guy ever finds out that some of his more intimate stuff had gotten leaked to the “Local Press”, he’ll feel more violated, vulnerable and embarrassed than an oversexed bearded collie that just had his naked pictures go viral on the web.
21. Stand by your Man – A Man in love has one “secret and devious” agenda. And that’s y-o-u. So, no matter how selfish and strange he may appear, he’s doing it all for you. That’s usually apparent in how much money he splashes on you (or with you) as opposed to what he spends on himself when he’s flying solo.
So, let him feel like you’ve got hit back too, not financially but morally.
22. Be his cheerleader – You won’t need the outfit for this necessarily, although it wouldn’t hurt.
A Man can only rise to the level of your belief in him, and the amount of unconditional love, admiration, appreciation and positive reinforcement you feed him with regularly (a few veg smoothies might not hurt either).
23 Be down to earth – How many Horses have you seen at Fine Dining Restaurants? If your answer is not that many, then the reason for that is quite possibly because of their very “down to earth” approach to life.
Sure, you can entice a Horse to take you out on a Romantic Candlelit Dinner once in a while and even possibly on a weekly basis. But what really makes him feel alive is playing around in the snow, the sand and the murky waters and then chilling out in the evening with a cool glass of lemonade and a bowl of fresh corn.
So the question is, are you “Horsey” enough to handle it?