How do you keep those bloodthirsty vampires from hitting on you at every street corner?
Guys are generally dumb when it comes to “subtle communications”. Actually, they’re pretty dumb when it comes to most matters involving other humans (who are still breathing).
So, if the guy who’s hitting on you looks like a wanted criminal or a rapist or you’re just “unavailable”, here’s how you get him off your back (without having to introducing him to your pet Tiger):
1. Tell him very bluntly that you have a boyfriend. – If you can, use a “Mom voice” or a very masculine voice when you’re saying it. So, a Mr. T impersonation (if you can pull it off) would work brilliantly here. But if you do go down the Mr. T route, you may wanna try and limit the number of times you say the word “fool”.
Men (particularly “Boys”) freak out the second they hear a “Mom voice”. And a (relatively loud) and masculine voice in many cases is enough to give any guy a serious case of “reptile dysfunction” for years.
2.If you’re unavailable, try showcasing a few of those “signs of unavailability”. Obviously, that doesn’t mean you have to walk around in your wedding dress all day if you’re married. Or that you have to tattoo your boyfriend’s (or girlfriend’s) name to your forehead to let everyone know that you’re taken.
But you can keep a few “indications” on standby such as a picture of you and your partner as the screensaver of your cellphone. Or you could just make your engagement ring a little more “prominent” than usual. Obviously, you wouldn’t wanna do this to anyone who looks like a predator or a jewelry thief.
Also, if you’re with a friend, you could always start talking about a date that you went on recently (a good date, not one that ended in a disaster).
However, don’t mistaking friendliness for flirtatiousness. Some guys are just genuinely friendly. They smile at everything and everyone including frogs, lizards and koalas. But the second the conversation crosses into “personal details” you have to either stomp him on the foot and run. Or (if you prefer the less “dramatic approach”) bring your boyfriend/hubby/hobby or hubby wannabe into the discussion.
3. Tell him to stop it (without going all Lara Croft on him) – Guys hate to be confronted with the obvious. This applies especially to bullies. If you feel that he’s hitting on you, then ask him if he is. And then go all Lara Croft on him.
Better still, tell him that you’re not interested and stop talking. The less friendly you are the less interested he’ll be in you.
4. Now, if he’s completely braindead and none of the above worked, then stare right “between” his eyes (about an inch above eyelevel) and whilst keeping that gaze locked in place, ask him to “stop bothering you”. This “stare” will only work if you don’t blink or sneeze while doing it and don’t giggle immediately after.
5. Now, if the guy who’s hitting on you is a friend, then it’s best to keep your relationship with him on the downlow. And start spending more time with other people, pets and plants.
Most guys don’t have any such thing called a “friendzone”. So, if they aren’t in a serious relationship, gay or aren’t dating other people, then chances are that you’re in the running for his “next top girlfriend”.