In Comparison to Parental Influence, Peer Influence is almost insignificant. That’s provided your Children grew up in a loving and supportive environment where both Parents were just as crazy about each other as they were about Chocolates.
In other words, you as a Parent (or a Parent wannabe) holds far more power in your little bitty hands than you can ever imagine.
So, if you’re under the impression that the only thing that your kids inherit from you is the haircut, the shoes and your collection of seashells from the Dinosaur Era, then think again.
Children (whilst still in their Creator’s manufacturing plant), gets fitted with a special kind of camcorder, that not only allows them to record everything they see and hear, but it also allows them to record all of their Parents’ behaviors. It doesn’t just record their behavior, it carves those “Parental behavior patterns” into the children’s psyche so that they end up becoming near carbon copies of their parents. By the way, this “carving process” happens on the inside. It won’t all get chiseled onto their foreheads and forearms like a bunch of tattoos.
Now, if the Parents weren’t around, then they would inherit these habit patterns from the Peer models that were occupying the Producer and Director seats to their lives.
That means, if those Peer models were Kangaroos, they would soon learn to talk and hop just like those Kangaroos. However, they do risk being labelled as “deficient” when they realize that they don’t have a pouch to put all their groceries into at the Supermarket. Feral Children (i.e. human children raised by animals) is real by the way. And it still happens all over the World. But in small numbers obviously. Otherwise we would all be hopping around like Kangaroos. And pouch bags would be the hottest thing going.
Now, the really scary part is this “inheritance of habit patterns” isn’t just limited to our day to day behaviors. It stems into ALL of our minutiae behaviors. That means, if the Mom and Dad were in the habit of stubbing their toes every morning the second they sprung out of bed, we would start doing the same sooner or later. If one or both of them were in the habit of burning the first piece of toast every time, we would do the same. If they have a “cussing mantra” designated for cuts, bruises and burns, that would soon become our go to mantra for cuts, bruises and burns too. And if the two of them decided to go all Mr. and Mrs. Smith on each other and end up getting a divorce 10 years into their marriage, the same “programmed fate” could fall on us 10 years into our marriage too.
Obviously, all of this can be “reprogrammed” by:
- Detaching yourself from that environment altogether
- Identifying and replacing those “unfavorable habit patterns” with favorable ones
- Repeating those new habit patterns day in and day out for a minimum of 2 consecutive months (ideally 2 consecutive years), until they become second nature to you
But since most people do rather believe in unicorns and lottery fairies than in embracing the power of self-help, the onus of showing them “how to live right” falls squarely on your shoulders.