Men operate much the same way as lights bulb do. Either he’s lit up and ready to run a marathon. Or he’s in a momentary coma.
Women, on the other hand, are much like elegant Wood Burning Fireplaces. They take a lot of effort and care to be brought up to a “cozy temperature of romance”. But when they’re they’ll burn brightly for hours on end.
So, what kind of “work” are we talking about?
Are we talking about chopping wood, roasting marshmallows, roasting chestnuts or some kind of strange ritual that requires us to dance around a fire?
Well, not exactly. The kind of work we’re talking about is good old fashioned untainted romance without the usual “illuminated fireworks”. That (strangely enough) is the foundation of every “lasting relationship”. Also, take to heart that like with the “prepping of a fireplace” you can’t afford to skip any steps or get away with using cheap material, as that’s the surest way to get yourself toasted or barbecued in the process.
So, if you think you can handle the heat, here’s the heart-friendly, soul friendly, Chihuahua friendly, PG-rated “formula” to get the sparks going:
1. Surprise her with a freshly brewed cup of Coffee every morning. And don’t forget to leave a little “cookie” on the side for good measure.
2. Call her up a few times during the day to express how special and beautiful she is (but without sounding too needy).
3. Open the car door/front door/garage door for her whenever you’re on a date and whenever you’re not on a date
4. Make life comfortable for her every chance you get. The more comfortable and “cozy” she’s made to feel, the more “receptive” she’ll be about your own needs
5. Come home with a beautiful bouquet of roses or a few handpicked flowers whenever possible. The more frequent your gestures (regardless of the amount or expense) the more “points” you end up scoring.
6. Be just as well-dressed and dazzling at home as you would be at work But, feel free to leave out the sparkly shoes, the tie, the coat, the overcoat and the umbrella.
7. Put away your own dirty laundry. Moms have to pick up after their “kids”. A “life partner” never should (or would for more than a “little while”).
8. Help out around the house and kitchen but without burning the house down or accidentally chopping off your Cat’s tail. Also, be mindful about her “boundaries”. If your Lady considers the kitchen to be part of her “domain” (much like her handbag or cellphone), you could get shot (with a cute little gun) for even “thinking about” interfering.
9. Surprise her with small gifts and notes. You won’t have to rob a bank every fortnight for this as the gifts needn’t be anything expensive. What counts is that you put in the effort to buy her something that resonates with her personality. Or something that serves as a callback/reference to a memory that you created together at some point. Again, it’s the frequency and the thoughtfulness of the gesture that really counts.
10. Take her out on breathtakingly beautiful romantic dinners, preferably every week (and definitely more than once a decade).
11. Pamper her with a foot massage or a back rub at the end of the day. Or reward her with an extravagant spa treatment. The daily spa treatments might not be possible to do every day unless you’re a high-end car thief or a “skillful” jewelry collector
12. Find out her favorite hobbies and pastimes. And then setup a few “weekly classes” for the both of you attend so that you could spend time together in a “different environment”.
13. Take time to plan out memorable dates. Take her out on a balloon ride, go paragliding or sailing together, take her on a helicopter ride around the City (or around the moon), go to a live concert or magic show, ride a flying carpet together (if they still do those). Or just go to the Opera together to catch up on your naptime.
14. Always be friendly, loving and kind. Never criticize, blame or look for excuses no matter how hard it gets. Be as cool as a Popsicle and about as dazzling as a Superstar at all times.
15. Get in the best shape of your life – Looking good not only makes you feel great, healthy and ridiculously young. It also makes you several times more “delicious” and “scrumptious” to both humans and alligators.
16. Always exude confidence – A Confident Man who has his bones fitted the right way around and owns his space is perceived as “attractive”. Just as important is the way you talk, walk and smile. So always stand tall, have a glowing smile on your face and walk with longer strides than you normally would (without tripping over everything in your path). Also, avoid swaying your head around like a “bobblehead” (which by the way is not very attractive).
17. Punish your Punching bag – Way back in the day when computers came in the shape of large rocks, attraction happened at a very primal level. Men didn’t understand the term “Romance” and given that there were no Restaurants open after sundown, the best they could do was a well decorated fruit salad.
The concept of “romance” became a requirement only after Men lost their “naturally spark” and gave away much of their “market value”. But the “biological composition” of Men and Women never changed. And neither did their “biological requirements”.
So, Men continue to be attracted to mellow and caring Women (with a little bit of an “oomph-factor”). And Women continue to “secretly” fall for Men who can crush boulders with bare hands and knockout a bear flat with single punch. And the second she sees someone like that “in action” with her own eyes ALL her other “intellectual needs” go out the window (at least until he does something spectacularly stupid). This applies specially to the ladies who protest to this statement. But until you do meet a bear to punch, you’ll have to settle for the punching bag (and allow her to “fill in the blanks” for yourself). But be sure to get some kind of “training first” as the last thing you want is to punch the bag and then spend the remainder of the day yelping in agony.
18. Show up as a hunky fireman or a Police Officer once in a while. Women have a thing for “authority” and particularly for Men who are perceived as saviors of the community. So, if you can’t give them the real thing, then the second-best option is to roleplay them. Yes, roleplay works a million times better on Women than Men.
And if a well-fitted a suit isn’t already a part of your attire, now would be a good time to invest in one. Nothing is sexier on a Man than a well-fitted suit. It might also not be such a bad idea to get some “fashion advice” and start upgrading your wardrobe altogether when you have a chance. As per where to find good “fashion advice”, I recommend checking out “Ashley Weston’s” blog or YouTube channel (or both).
19. Pay her a compliment every day– But focus more on complimenting her traits and virtues over her looks. That’s because Women are generally used to receiving regular compliments about their looks. But they’re starved to the bone on receiving compliments about their virtues. So, don’t just pay her a compliment. Pay her a compliment that she’ll never ever forget. But don’t make it up either as Women (since they’re from a different planet) can read minds. They could also blink twice and wipe your memory. But you might wanna keep that on the downlow.
20. Up your life-skills profile – Life skills are far more attractive to Women than just your ability to do a job, run a business or take the dog for a walk. So, if you wanna up your “attractiveness score” by a few notches (and really make you stand out from the bunch) start adding a few life skills to your profile. Such skills can include swimming, sailing, piloting, diving, magic tricks, martial arts, boxing (and occasionally unboxing), a proficiency in a particular sport, and the ability to “read minds”.
Yes, you can master the mind reading part too just by grabbing a good book on Body language, like the “Definitive book of Body Language” by Barbara and Alan Pease. Men unfortunately don’t have that skillset “hardwired” into them like Women do. But it can still be “learned”.
21. Up your standards – Women generally have much higher standards than Men do. They never wear a piece of clothing that has even a microscopic hole or stain. Their hair is always well groomed. They never fart in public (or in front of another person). They never pick their nose in front of someone. They never sneeze or cough at other people’s faces. They don’t have unkempt, dirty or crooked nails. They never (for the most part) leave a mess in the bathroom (or anywhere in the house). They always close the bathroom door behind them (even if they had been married for 500 years). They keep the toilet seat down at all times. And their shoes are about as shiny as Cinderella’s slippers. Also, given the choice they’ll rarely wear the same dress twice. But that’s a whole other story altogether.
So, take a chapter off their “playbook”. And start upping your standards by a whole LOT. The only exception to that is the makeup and the perfume. Don’t do makeup, nail polish or high heels. And the perfume you use should be “almost unnoticeable”. In fact, you could just as easily swap out the perfume with a vanilla scented Body Lotion or cream altogether and double your “score” in that department.
22. Become an avid learner – Learn about life. Learn about relationships. And learn about how to make every component of your relationship better. The more points you have, the more “market value” you accumulate. And the stronger your relationship becomes.
Deal Breakers (uh oh):
- As many 90% of all couples who light up their “ovens” within the first two years of their relationships, end up apart.
- As at 2014, more than 110 Million Americans are infected with “incurable” STDs. And that number continues to grow at a rate of 20 Million per year. The annual population growth rate is 1.6million per year. The stats are alarmingly similar across the globe (except in cultures where babies are conceived through prolonged staring).
Another fun fact is that “rubber socks” don’t always protect us from “radioactivity” (i.e. STD infections). So, the only surefire to safeguard yourself from “radioactive individuals” is to have them (and yourself) tested for “radioactivity” before partaking in any kind of “lab experiment”. Yes, that includes those seemingly mild and harmless experiments too.